Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
