i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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