I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
