im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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