Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
