If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
