I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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