The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
