i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
