Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Actions speak louder than pants.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
