i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
