I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
