she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
