I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
