omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
