So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
