The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
