WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
