turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
