this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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