I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
