you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
