There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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