so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
