i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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