one might say we're banned from that church
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
