She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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