i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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