Buhtt sex?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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