I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
