if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
