fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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