nut hugger
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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