She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
