if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
