sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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