Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
