dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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