why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And then he peed in my hair
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
