she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
