he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
