He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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