Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
