ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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