So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
