Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
