his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
