Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
