I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The Olympian is in my bed
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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