Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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